Thursday, June 14, 2012

giving my life to the only One who makes the moon reflect the sun.

Do you miss me yet?
I miss you, too!

No, Chemistry is not over yet (WOMP WOMP), but I only have 4 weeks left.
Yes, I am wearing a sweatshirt in the Summer, but it has sunshine on it, so it's fine.

I had a great time in Nashville.
Good music, good people, good food.
What's not to love?

I came back for a moment to share some ways God has been working in and around me lately.

Over the last two weeks (that have felt like several months long), two people I love have been faced with some serious difficulty.  Saying 'serious difficulty' is an incredible understatement, but we'll use it for lack of a better phrase.

I've cried, prayed, cried, and prayed some more for the majority of the last two weeks.

I cried when I got the news from both of them.
I prayed for answers to 'why' this is happening.
I cried when I didn't hear anything.
I prayed that I could take some pain from them.
I cried when God reminded me that He is in control and this pain is for a purpose.
I prayed to question why bad things happen to good people.
I cried when God revealed that none of us - 'good' or 'bad' - are deserving of his blessings and grace.
I prayed and PRAISED God for the gifts in my life and prayed to be used in these situations.
I cried when I realized He was already using me.

My sister and brother-in-law got some news that rocked all of our worlds at the beginning of last week, then my sister-in-law got some news that re-rocked it at the beginning of this week.

As unrelated as both things were seemed, I was floored when I realized how much they could get from one another - even viewing one another's pain/circumstances from afar.

I have never during my bumpy, hestitant walk with Christ felt such a need to glorify Him in all things, but it's sure there now.

I'm literally watching everything unfold.
No one, no matter how big or difficult the problem, is ever alone.

Nothing is coincidental with God; it is all purposeful.

My sister and brother-in-law were 'given' the support of people who have been there.
They were 'given' a chance to make her marriage stronger.
My brother-in-law was 'given' the chance to know Jesus more.
They were 'given' friends and family that offered tremendous support instantly.
They were 'given' the chance to praise God in this storm.

My sister-in-law was 'given' 4 children to love and uplift.
She was 'given' communication to put her at ease, if only for a moment.
She was 'given' an opportunity to move and start over (SOON!).
She was 'given' a mended relationship with her mother when she would need her most.
She was 'given' the chance to meet God in this storm.

We are all rich with something and it's very rarely money.
To those who can't walk, a person who runs is wealthy.
To those who have a learning disability, a person with knowledge is wealthy.
To those who can't concieve, a person with many children is wealthy.
To those who don't have a spouse, a person with someone to lay with and love is wealthy.

I've felt very little worry about anything these last two weeks.
I'm not sure if it's because the Spirit changing me or because, compared to others, I have no worries.
Maybe it's a combination of both, but some pretty in-your-face things have happened since I decided just to give it all up to Him:

- the sermon from Pastor Pat in TN was about Joy; finding joy in everything - even in trials
- I didn't pay my car insurance this month and was driving home late Monday and saw a deer on the side of the road.  Generally, I don't slow down.  Maybe because I want to get outta there or because I'm stupid, but something...or someone AHEM...told me to slow it down.  That deer looked right at me and ran straight out in front of my big old Explorer.  I was inches away from hitting him.
- I was feeling a little down about being broke as joke this week because I really wanted to do something nice for Big Steven for being such an awesome Dad and almost instantly got a text from my mom's friend that she had 4 tickets for the Nationals game on Father's Day in a close section AND we get to go on the field afterwards.

That's certainly not odd...
It's God.


I keep going straight back to this passage from the bible every time I think about my sister, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law:

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.

- Jeremiah 29:11-14

What a trip!  All of these revelations during 4 little days.

Until next time, Pfunky Griddle...