Wednesday, April 25, 2012

whatchu said?

By now, I don't need to tell you who Whitney is.
Unless you just started reading, then you can find her here for reference.

I tried to think of something clever to title my segments about the crap Whitney says on a daily basis, but I'm not clever so 'whatchu said?' is all you get.

It works because that's generally my reaction to her accompanied by uncontrollable laughing.
If you are funny (and not at the expense of others), I love you already.

To fully understand Whitney, think some combo of Jess and Rachel:


In response to me asking if she wants to make a video for my sister's birthday
(yes we still do that):

"can we dress up like the 80's/early 90's
  OOH we can make shirts thursdsay night
or we can just dress up and do the video
  like we're actually dressing up to make a music video"

"can we choreograph dance moves
  esp for at the end when it's all the drum beats"

"and lets not lip sync, lets real sing!"

" i'm gonna tease the shit outta my hair
  it's going to be awesome"

In response to dinner for Thursday (the night we plan to make the vid.):

"lets make it something easy so it doesnt take away from our dancing and craft time"

Some things never change.
And I sure like her that way.
More of these to follow...

Monday, April 23, 2012

women who ruin lives: the literature turned movie edition.

You may or may not have read my rants on women who ruin lives here, here, or maybe here.
As a lover of literature, or books as some may call it, I decided to do a special edition:

Women Who Ruin Lives:
The Literature Turned Movie Edition

We'll start with my favorite female characater to date: Katniss.
On pretty much every level, I want to be you.
Not only can you shoot a bow better than any man in the Hunger Games series (or any man in NOVA for that matter), but you look dang hot doing it.
And that braid?  HELLOOO!
On top of your hotness, badassness, and intellegence, you get to have Peeta - arguably the greatest fictional character ever imagined.
I spent many a night dreaming about Peeta and his baking/decorating skills.
What a man!
And you have stolen him. 
Without even knowing the effect you can have, evidently.
To top it off, your back up plan is Gale.

Oh, yeah.  Such a hard life you lead.
I don't feel bad.


First of all, when did you become a sassy woman?
Weren't you a little girl?
Like 20 movies ago?
You're a genius, a mud-blood (best of both worlds, if you ask me), and you have delicious wavy hair.
Then, after about a zillion books of making fun of Ron, you suddenly want him?
I don't think so.
I realize it took 7 books for Ron to actually prove that he has a brain, but it only took about 4 movies for this red-headed, blonde-brained tween to turn into a smokin' hot ginger.

Am I right?  I'm always right.
But, ladies, you can't have him.
Apparently, Hermoine thinks she can waltz right in and take him for herself.
And she can because J.K Rowling said so.



Like you didn't know she was coming.

This picture alone makes me want to cuss you out.
But, I love Jesus, so I won't.
Where do you get off making werewolves and vampires fall all crazy in love with you?
Furthermore, where do you get off getting all knocked up?
Why do you think you're so special you get to live forever?
Let me tell you this, Bella, you made one crucial mistake in your little world:
You chose one.
Take 'em both and let 'em fight amongst themselves.
When they fight, they generally take their shirts off, so this is a win-win situation.
You big dummy.

The fact that you get to have one in real life makes you extra annoying.


First of all, congratulations to Claire Danes who isn't necessarily the greatest actress (I'm being kind here), but landed some awesome roles (My So Called Life and, namely, Romeo and Juliet).
You can now take your place next to Kristen Stewart and Kirsten Dunst (think Crazy/Beautiful).
I actually wanted my name to be Susana when Leo fell to his knees in the field to scream your name because 'Susan' isn't enough syllables.
I heard it in my head.
When he screamed my name, Susana, I'd come running and hug him and likely make out with him.
Actually, I'd never cause him such grief to begin with.
I get it.
The whole idea of the story is that you're both selfless and in love, but once Romeo was Leonardo (or vice versa), it just became stupid.
Why do anything to make such a hot man drink poison and die?
Maybe you didn't plan it that way, but I still blame you.

On a side note, I'd like to thank the producers of the movie for making Shakespeare cool.
I've always thought he was cool (SHAKESPEARE FTW!) and, though it did nothing to help my popularity whatsoever, I felt like I had a leg up at this point in my life.

I wonder who would win in a fight.
I'll take Katniss out of the equation because she's an experienced fighter and would kick butt, and I'll take Juliet out because, well, she killed herself once and I don't doubt she'd do it again.

Hermoine v. Bella?
Riddle me that.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

pepperoni pizza mini pull-aparts!

Big Steven and I decided it would be fun to have my sister-in-law, Kelly (who you will be soon be getting an ode to), over every Wednesday with her kiddos and hubs for a family dinner and to show her that cooking can be super easy.
Kid friendly all around!

This is a more fun take on my Pizza Cups.
Pinterest has had all kinds of pull-apart ideas flowing around and the possibilities are really endless!

Pepperoni Pizza Mini Pull-Aparts

1 package Hormel Pepperoni - cut into small pieces (or you could get small pepperonis)
1 10 ct Refrigerated Biscuits
1 jar Pizza Sauce (or homemade)
1 cup Shredded Mozarella
2 tbsp Butter - melted
Garlic Salt

Preheat oven to 375.

Smoosh your biscuits and cut them into quarters.  Put a few small slices of Pepperoni in each quarter and roll into a ball.  Place 4 balls into one muffin tin side by side.  Repeat until you use up all your biscuits.

Next - and this is a job you can assign to the kiddos - put Mozarella on top of and in between each ball in each muffin tin to create a cheesy goodness inside when it bakes.

Combine Melted Butter with Garlic Salt (to your taste) and brush Garlic Butter over each muffin (also a great job to get kids involved in cooking).

Bake for 8-10 minutes and serve with warm Pizza Sauce on the side or on top!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Pineapple Sweet & Sour Chicken

Pineapple Sweet & Sour Chicken

1 lb boneless Chicken Breast - cubed
1 cup Corn Starch
2 eggs - beaten
Oil for frying

For the Sauce:
1/2 cup Sugar
4 tbsp Ketchup
1/2 cup White Vinegar
1 tbsp Soy Sauce
1 tbsp Garlic Salt
1/4 Pineapple Preserves

Preheat about an inch of Oil in a frying pan.  When it starts to ripple, you know it's hot.

Rinse your Chicken Breasts and season with S&P (to taste).  Dip Chicken in Corn Starch until evenly coated, then dip your Chicken in the Eggs and add to hot frying pan.

It should take about 6 minutes to cook evenly through and give you a nice brown crunch on the outside; turn your Chicken about halfway through that time.

When the Chicken is all fried and yummy, remove it and place in a bowl with paper towels to soak up excess oil.

In a new bowl, combine all ingredients for your Sauce and stir until well mixed.  Add your Chicken and serve over rice!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

if you were wondering...

how long a treadmill runner can run outside with lots of hills in the pollen and heat, the answer is about a mile.

If you were wondering how long it takes for a happy, playful toddler to go from extremely adorable to extremely naughty, the answer is about 2 minutes or exactly how long it took him to have a successful #2 after we arrived at the playground 1.5 miles away from home.

If you were wondering how many people stare at you while you force a kicking and screaming toddler into a jogger, the answer is around 30...or the equivalent of however many people are at the playground.

If you were wondering how many contacts an allergy sufferer can lose during a 3 mile walk, the answer is 2.

If you were wondering how many males and females I passed on the 1.5 mile walk back home, I can't tell you because I couldn't see anything.

If you were wondering how long a toddler can scream during a 1.5 mile walk, the answer is about a mile...OR the equivalent of the time it takes for you to realize you have games on your phone.

If you were wondering how long it takes you to stop being frustrated with said toddler for causing the biggest scene to date, it's about an hour...or the time it takes to get him bathed, fed, and sitting at the dinner table where his daddy tells him to say sorry to mommy.

If you were wondering how long it takes for you to forget why you were even mad when a 2 year old tells you he loves you, the answer is 2 seconds.

If you were wondering what mommy's eyes look like after all is said and done:

If you were wondering how many days it takes for mommy to try the playground again, it's TBD.
I'm guessing in May...or about when allergy issues slow down for this mommy.

Monday, April 16, 2012

the other sister, helen.

You've been anxiously awaiting this one.
Don't lie.

An Ode to Helen

I like to post pictures
where I look prettier than you,
It's super duper hard
cuz there are so few.

You make me laugh so hard,
which wasn't always the case;
You used to punch me in the back,
and then I'd punch your face.

You asked "what happened to the bread?"
And we'd all die laughing.
You're awesome from the brains in your head
to your old school rapping.

Jason, Luda, Ben Folds Five
You'd die happy if you could marry these guys.

We've had some interesting taste in men,
people could definitely tease us,
but don't get it twisted,
Helen's main man is Jesus.

Your face gets super red
when I run around nakey.
It's my quality you dread,
but I yell "SHAKE 'N BAKEY!"

You got a bangin' body
and a hot booty, too.
The only thing missing from my bridesmaid clan
is YOU!

Go ahead, Helen.  Shake your head at me.
You know you LOVE it.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

on trend.

I am not a fashion blogger.
Read more about that here.

As I've mentioned before, I tend to happen upon trends and run with it.

Trending now: braids.

I am addicted to Pinterest.
The food, the hair, the tutorials!
I can't get enough of it!
Braids started showing up there and I became seriously fascinated with the fishtail braid.
I tried and tried and tried again and I've officially, nearly, almost mastered it.
And I am officially obsessed with braids.

Trending now: Headbands.

What a great way to mask the lumpy hair from falling asleep with it wet!
(For the record, Whit, I will NEVER forgive you if you are LC and haven't told me.  Unless you if you give me $$$).
I purchased a few bracelets from Pura Vida, where every bracelet sold goes to help provide jobs for Costa Rican residents (my plug of the day), and bought a pack for kicks.
People, these headbands rule.
They stay on, work for exercising, and make you look like a hippie.
To be honest, the closest I am to a hippie is not washing my hair for 2-3 days at a time, but I sure feel like one.

So, you see, I am actually on trend with my questionable choices in dress and hair.
Not sure if you noticed that denim top there - apparently that's super trendy, too!

comments about my 'fashion choices' as of late:

"what's on your head?" - niece
"are you an indian now?" - general manager
"you got that indian thing going." - boss
"hahahhahahhahah." - big steve

Loving your mama is always on trend, even more so when you become one because you don't want your kids to EVER know about how crappy you were to your mom as a teen.


You are awesome and pretty and I'm so glad I act and look like you.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Crock Pot Ranch House Pork Chops.

I first saw the recipe for these on Pinterest and decided it was necessary to try.
SOOOO glad I did.

You know how I feel about crock pots.
They make everything easier and tastier, especially with pork.
Pork tends to be tough, but the crockpot makes them so tender and moist!

Crock Pot Ranch House Pork Chops
adapted from: Picky Palate

1 lb Pork Chops - boneless
1 packet Ranch Dressing Mix
1 can Cream of Chicken Soup (or make your own like I do in a pinch)
1/4 cup Milk
2 cups Frozen Peas (optional)

Mix your Ranch Dressing Mix, Cream of Chicken Soup, and Milk together and pour over Pork Chops in crock pot; your Pork can be frozen or thawed, that's the beauty of a crock pot!

Turn that bad boy on low for 6 hours and be done with it.
I added some Frozen Peas for about 20 minutes and served it with my Homemade Mashed Potatoes and it was super delicious.

This one will defintely make the menu again in the very near future.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Easter & News.

He is not here; he has risen, just as he said.
- Matthew 28:6

I always think it's adorable when Stevie talks about Jesus.
Even if he can't possibly grasp His awesomeness yet, I just love it.

Holidays around here are always a big production.
Lots of family, lots of food, lots of noise.
Just the way I like it.

A few snapshots from our celebration:

[beautiful niece.]
[dressed in his Easter best!]
[half crying/half fake laughing]
[the cousins!]
[sweet Austyn!]
[the man.]
[all of Big Steve's maternal cousins!  i love them!]
As if Easter wasn't already the bomb, my sister, Wendy - you may have read about her here -

Our family has been waiting for this announcement for years.
I cried tears of joy when she told me and cried every time she told someone after that in front of me.
I just can't WAIT for her to be a mom.

And from moms everywhere to you:
You think you're tired now?


Tuesday, April 3, 2012


I am feeling quite punchy today.
A little silly, a little sassy.
Some people call it delirium, but I call it punchy.

It all started in the early morn with a toddler who was REALLY mad that I wouldn't give him milk for his on-the-go Cheerios.
Madness ensued for about 20 minutes.
20 minutes of hysterical crying.

I walked out the door to let Bella out and start the car - crying.
I walked out to let Bella back in - still crying.
I gave him treats to give to Bella.  He took them, but was still crying.
Said goodbye to Bella...........crying more.
Got in the car, gave him his rejected Cheerios, sang a song, tickled his feet.
Still friggin' crying.

About 5 minutes into the drive, he stopped.
Then I laughed. 
Because that's what you do to keep from crying yourself.
Who cares if you look like a complete looney toon?
At least he thought my laughing was funny.

Other fun things today has brought:

- Spit water all over myself.  I have no idea why or how it happened.
- The epiphany that my Whitney looks like Lauren Conrad.  Why didn't I see this before?
- Thoughts that maybe Whitney is LC and is just in hiding - Hannah Montanna style.
- Thoughts of what I will do with the money Whitney/LC gives me soon for being the best friend ever.
- Can I buy Peeta?
- Discovering that 'Catching Fire' doesn't come out on the big screen until Thanksgiving 2013.
- Drafting a letter to the production team of 'Catching Fire' about said discovery.
- Wondering what it would be like to be on the production team of the Hunger Games.
- Jennifer Lawrence is alright, but I'd be a better Katniss.
- Can I cast myself in my own movie?
- Would I have time for my family?
- What about naps?  Will there be time for naps?

I am in my own world today, folks.
Let me be.

Monday, April 2, 2012

a long/great couple of days.

Aside from being really annoyed and borderline depressed about the tease 80 degree week we had that disappeared, I had a really awesome/tiring week.

We celebrated my niece, Austyn's, birthday Thursday at Red Robin (as if there is any other way to do it).

[the birthday girl!]

[my happy fellas.]

[Austyn and her big sister, Ashley.]
Even though I get really sad when kids grow up, it's such a cool thing to watch them learn and grow.  Always appreciate the kids in your life.

Friday night, I made some delicious turkey meatballs.  I am WILD!

Saturday morning, Little Steve and I went to Meemaw's house and he spent the majority of the time eating and running around with his Mater bubble machine.

After eating more food than necessary, we grabbed this sweet girl and Big Steven and headed down to Lake Anna.

Lake Anna is, by far, one of my favorite places to be.
So relaxing, so pretty, and the kids get to run wild.

It's always a good weekend when we get to see Brittany and her little family.
They live a bit away, so I understand that they can't just up and come see us whenever they want to, but we sure love seeing Baby Brandon, who at 2 months, is almost as heavy as Stevie.

Stevie did a lot of relaxing.
This picture cracks me up!
Watching Sponge Bob, eating some Goldfish, and crossing his legs.
What a dork.

And this is how I judge how successful our weekend was.
He was WIPED out.
Fell asleep on the car ride home around 6 and I had to wake him up this morning to go to work.

All of this was awesome, but the best part of the weekend was hearing Big Steve yell at a cow to get out of the way because he was about to get pooped on.
Then calling the cow a dummy for not moving.

I am living the life, I tell ya.