Tuesday, January 10, 2012

women who ruin lives...

When I found out that Justin Timberlake - JT, as I call him - was getting married, I had exactly two thoughts:

1.  WHY?!
2.  Jessica Biel is a jerk.

These thoughts caused other thoughts about women who ruin lives.
So here goes...

Jessica Biel
Is it not enough for you to have the hottest body in the world? 
 I mean, literally, your body is so hot, I thought about proposing myself. 
Now you have to take my man and run away with him?  So wrong.

Kate Middleton
Yeah, I went there. 
How many girls/teens/women have dreamt of being a princess?  All of them? 
And do you have any idea how many magazines my sister collected in the sake of having Prince William somewhere in our house? 
Two words for you - life ruiner.

Kelly Kapowski
Head cheerleader, great hair, awesome smile, Zack Morris stealer.
I do not feel bad that you didn't have money to go to prom. 
I feel bad that hot Zack Morris missed his prom to come see you in that sexy off the shoulder sweatshirt (totes back, btw). 
Why couldn't you just stick with A.C.? 
Much less women would hate you.

Courtney Cox
For the love of God, WHY would you let David Arquette back in the dating field? 
We all knew you were way out of his league, but now some other poor woman has to end up with him. 
Just selfish, Courtney.

Rochelle DeAnna Karidis
I thought about being mad at you because I do, afterall, love the Backstreet Boys.
Then I saw this picture....
So, I'm not mad. 
I will be the one wearing white at my wedding. 
In fact, if anyone even shows up to the ceremony or reception in white, they will be asked to leave.
In addition, if my husband-to-be wears nail polish, the wedding is off.
How dare you, delicious A.J. McLean, steal her thunder.
You deserve each other.

Ugh.  I think it's safe to say I'm just not over JT.
Give me a few months years.

1 comment:

  1. Bahahahaha! You had me laughing the whole time!