happiness part one.

So, here goes...

Happiness is fleeting.

It's momentary and it's circumstantial.
Happiness is not joy.

We may find temporary happiness in money, clothing, children, spouses, or starbucks, but if the basis of our well being and the condition of our souls is dependent on these things - these things that can be taken from us at any moment - what are we left with?
Contemptment, hatred, disdain, and unhappiness.
So, why do we place such incredible value on things we can never keep?
What are you going to do if your closet full of clothes catches fire or is stolen?
What are you going to do if you lose your high paying job?
What are you going to do when it turns out that your significant other changes his/her mind?
What is going to happen to these things when your time on earth is done?
Consider your source of contentment.

If you sit down and really think about it, it all seems so silly, so shallow, and so pointless.

I am not saying that we shouldn't be happy.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't appreciate and enjoy what we've been given.
I'm saying not to need it.
I'm saying not to seek happiness in stuff or people.
Stuff goes away and people let you down.

Instead of seeking what might make you temporarily happy, seek joy in Jesus in the form of kindness, love, & sharing the Gospel.

At church last Sunday, Pastor Bob said something that was incredibly hard-hitting;
he said we are all one of three people:
1.  The person who doesn't know Christ.
2:  The person that does know Christ and goes on his/her way allowing others to drown because they're 'happy' the way they are.
3.  The person who knows Christ and wants others to know him, too.

I know I have friends who read my blog who aren't believers; inspired by my love for these people, I've chosen to make my blog more Christ-centered.
I also know I have friends who read my blog who are believers, but think "to each his own!"

Believers, let me ask you this:
If you know there is a hole in the sidewalk of the path your friend is walking, but they don't believe it's there, would you tell them about it anyway?
Non-believers:
Would you want your friend to tell you what they know about the hole up ahead?  Even if you don't believe it's there?

To be continued...


2012 so far.

If you recall, I made a

list of resolutions a billion days ago.

Then, I added a few more.

Let's update on those, shall we?

1.  I am not sure if I'd call myself a 'running freak,' and school caused about a 4 week exercise slump, but I am hanging in there.  I have been running/jogging/walking more than I ever have in my 27 (almost 28!) years of life.  That counts for something, right?

2.  Big Steve and I have done a better job at implementing date night.  We've had 2 weekends away from Stevie and a couple of nights out on the town together.  That is significantly more than we've even attempted since the little one was born.  Hecks yes.

3.  Spend $100 or less on groceries per month.  Well, I added up the money I've spent on groceries this year and it comes to around $960, which averages out to be about $150/month.  SOOO, that needs some work and is where keeping up with cash envelopes would really come in handy.  Mental note - check!

4.  I've been keeping up with school and focusing on the future 'school goals,' all while not failing chemistry.  Success?  I think so.  Microbiology is right around the corner, though...

5.  Sewing?  What's that?  Needless to say, I haven't made time for sewing...YET!

6.  I haven't taken Stevie to many fun places yet this year on Fridays.  I had so many plans to take him to the museums and to the zoo, but it hasn't really panned out that way.  I have, however, been making more fun at home with him.  I gotta get that kid out more.

7.  I added a last minute goal for the year to not to spend money on clothes.  I've 'window shopped' a lot, both online and in the store, but I've actually been very successful in this area.  I managed to get a hole in my beloved VS black yoga pants, so I bought a new pair at Target.  I also found some shoes that reminded me of my Grandma and purchased those.  That's it, though!  Totaling around $40 for clothes and we're already more than half way through the year!  I am particularly proud of this one.

8.  Channeling my emotions into something other than breaking down and crying has proven to be quite the challenge for someone who is used to crying over everything.  Luckily, God interfered here and gave me the obvious solution:  Him.

I was reflecting on my year and my goals and realized how strange it was that not a single one of my goals included Jesus.  Feeling a leeeetle bit humbled today as I write to tell you that the largest change that has been made in my life has been my walk with Jesus.

Sure, I've managed to stick to my goals, but we so often forget that everything is from Him.  Would I be able to have date night without family willing to watch Stevie so we can spend time alone?  Would I be able to go to school if I didn't get grants from the school to pay for my education?

Perspective is incredible.

I actually have so much to share here, so much that has been laid on my heart, and so much to write praises about.

My relationship with Christ will alter my blogging significantly.

I'll still be my charming, lovely self and I will still share my cooking skillz and $ saving tricks, but with a different ultimate goal in mind.

How cool that my little break from blogging has given me time to reflect on so much more than school and has added so much to my testimony of faith.

Well played, God.  Well played.

I'm feeling pretty excited about sharing it all with you, so stick around!

 So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,  but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

2 Timothy 1: 8-10

how to be happy.

In regards to this gem of a photo, my galfriend said, "I swear you have THE happiest kid of anyone I know. Parental reflection ? :)"

He is happy.  And I am a generally happy lady, so I want to say yes.  Of course it is parental reflection, right?

Give me your million dollars now for I am about to reveal the secret to happiness.

Tea?  Maybe it's tea.  I drink a lot of tea and that sure makes me happy.

I walked in this morning to a brand spankin' new computer at work.

I feel like a new woman today!

Fast programs, fast emails; I don't know what to do with myself.

Morning Diet Coke?

I say, "WHY NOT?!?!"

I am wild.

Diet Coke makes me really happy.  If you are a Diet Coke enthusiast like myself, you get it.

If you don't like Diet Coke, you are strange and you don't get it.

Another great way to be happy is to enlist a goofy child and a sexy man.

That will surely do the trick.

And this, my friends is the secret to happines:

Tea, new computers, Diet Coke, hot men, and silly children.

Uno secreto...

I am lying my butt off.

I giggled at my friend's comment on my picture.

While I tend to be a pretty happy indivdual, I also tend to showcase the pictures of my little guy when he is not throwing food at the dog and/or chasing her with golf clubs.

As proof, view this sweet little post.

Now, sweet Samantha was right in that we encourage happiness, silliness, and playfulness in our house.

But if you really knew me about 4 years ago, you knew that my heart was cold, mean, and hateful.

My little secret to happiness is God.

He's not such a big secret and you might be throwing things at your computer and vowing never to read my blog again.

But my heart  has been changed in a way that I could never really do on my own.

Even in the last two short weeks that I've been going to church and praying for God to come in and change me, I've felt huge changes.

Changes I've tried to make, unsuccessfully, on my own in the past.

The proof is in the punch, people.

I also admit that I have NO IDEA what that saying actually means/refers to.

Pretty sure it works  here, though.

There are no 'catches' with turning your life over to God.

But to have allllllllllllll this good stuff (and I mean a LOT of good stuff), you have to accept it from Him.

If you're not sure how to do that, ask me.

Now, go have a Diet Coke.  It won't cause total happiness, but it will make things (like traffic) a little easier to deal with.

Trust & Faith.

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Now, when I started on this blog journey, I promised myself I wouldn't get too personal; I swore that I wouldn't give too many details of my life because I believe in saving some details for a close few.  Prompted by The Shine Project, I am slightly breaking my promise to myself.

Danielle asked if we ever had our lives planned out a certain way.  Well, yes - and my plans and real life couldn't be more different.  I feel super blessed to be where I am; I have the most supportive family ever (sometimes a little too supportive), I have a man who loves me despite our disagreements and relationship faults, I have a home with a bed to lay in every night, and I have a perfectly healthy baby boy.

While I admit that I am - in some ways - living a pretty dreamy life, I had serious convictions about my life on a regular basis.  You know that song "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage?"  Well, my song is a little different.  Big Steven and I are not married and Little Steven was the most awesome little BIG 'surprise' of all time.  I make many jokes about not being married and frequently reference a wedding that has yet to happen or officially be planned (though I've had that bad boy in the works for like 15+ years.  Groom = minor details).

Like I said, I have convictions about the life I'm living.  I believe everyone's relationship with God is personal and my bond with Him has become incredibly strong since the day I found out I was pregnant.  There have been many tears shed out of fear of disappointing Him and many long talks with Him that ended in me pleading for direction.

Even when I started this blog, I wondered if I should talk about my faith and love for God in the same place I talk about my boyfriend and our son.  I prayed about it a lot and found that leaving either piece of the puzzle out would take away all sincerity that exists in my faith.

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The truth is, God's love surpasses any fathomable love in our minds.  In my circumstances right now, my relief is knowing I'm loved...like BIG TIME loved.  I never doubted that love, though I'd felt like I'd disappointed God among others in my life, and I didn't care about the societal traditional values; I mostly feared the responses from other Christians - the ones in my life and the ones who know me 'from a distance.'  While I've made a big effort not to judge anyone or their circumstances, I know judgement comes far too easily to many others.  When even they embraced me, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.  And those who don't embrace it only remind me of God's unfailing love.

Trust and faith are constant reminders to me that life is not about being perfect, but remembering that we're forgiven and loved by the One who matters most.  It's knowing God's guidance and will are so good; I don't have to worry.   It's knowing, though it's not visible now, that peace will come in my heart about this situation.  

For now, I pray.  A lot.

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